My Life 15


		My Life - part 15
	Finally I'm back…! I realize it's been a long time since I've last written and so I want to take a minute to simply thank all of you who hung in there with me and waited for my return. I also want to let those of you who keep me and my family in your thoughts and prayers know that your care, concern and support are GREATLY appreciated. From the depths of my being - THANK YOU…To my family, extended family, and close friends - an EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS to you…It is your presence and support that makes this "existence" a life worth living and enduring! Today is Saturday - March 5th, 2005, and it's the birthday of an old friend of mine who I met here on Texas Death Row in 1994. We became friends once we learned that we was both from the same 'hood in Houston, and we soon learned through our many talks that we had a great deal more in common. We knew so many of the same people that we often wondered how it was that we had never met. We even had two ex-girlfriends in common. We both also shared a love for sports, music, family, and life. Needless to say, with so much in common, we got to be real tight friends throughout the years. I watched as my friend grew from being a wild, unpredictable youngsta (we were both young when we met) to being a responsible, respectable young man. Edward "Peanut" Green would have turned 31 today, but he was executed five months ago on October 5th… As I sit here contemplating Peanut's (R.I.P.) life and death and the path he took, I am also forced to turn the mirror on myself and take a deeper, closer look at Ron's life and the path which I took. Though Peanut (R.I.P.) and I chose different routes, our lives brought us both to death row. This also causes me to wonder, is my message to the world beyond these dank prison walls being received by those youths who are at risk of traveling the same types of roads which Peanut (R.I.P.) and I took? The grim reality is that the type of people I seek to reach hardly ever stop to see such warning signs as these. And while my tale might prove to be an interesting read, I do not write my story as a means to glorify the path I took or the choices I made. I write this because it is my desire that my life and the mistakes made stand in the road as a sign of warning that diverts someone's life from this path of hopelessness and nightmares to a path where hopes can be realized and dreams come true… So for those of you who view these pages, if there is anyone in your life who might benefit from knowing my story, I ask that you make it your personal mission that they learn of this warning sign. For what good is a stop sign that goes unseen? It's never too early or too late to change a life. And to those youngstaz out there who say, "I'm not out there trying to murder or kill nobody," as I was once told by another youngsta, I say, "Neither was I! But still I got caught up and now I'm in prison on death row!" So think about your life before you find yourself - Caught Up… With that, I'd like to dedicate the following writings to the memory of my grandmother, Mrs. Martha Howard (May Her Soul Rest In Peace) who passed away at 82 on January 7th, 2005. And also to the memory of Edward "Peanut" Green III, Dominique "Stumpa" Green, Freddie "Pee-3" MacWilliams, Tony Fuentez, and James "Slim" V. Allridge III. All friends executed in 2004. May you all rest now in peace… RAYS OF LIGHT In the abyss I stand alone Longing to be home Family and friend I miss The sounds of your happiness Here it's just concrete walls and floors With heavy steel doors Through a small gap in the wall Rays of light flow And no matter - big or small These rays are my hope And they always warm my soul To know that from so far They creep through these cracks To let me know they'll never go away In this abyss I'm never alone The Rays of light keep me company There is nothing fun - funny - or ever easy about life in prison. It's a sad place, a dark place where kind words and smiles are rare. It's all about respect and disrespect. Respect others and you are alright. Disrespect others and pay the penalty. Relaxation - Never! It's not a word of prison vocabulary. You're always on guard here because even friends which are rare can quickly turn into foes here in prison… One thing I miss most about being away from home is having family and true friends around. Family gone always be family, and true friends never turn into foes. These people are my Rays of Light. And my daughter JaBoria is one of my biggest, brightest Rays of Light… I still recall it as though it was yesterday when I first met JaBoria. Often, when I was back in Houston to check with Tikeira and Yolanda, I'd also go by Denise's place to see how she was doing. That's one thing I always liked about Denise, it didn't matter what the status of our relationship was, we've always been able to remain friends… Anyway, as I turned the corner walking into her apartment complex, I spotted Denise sitting with some guy on the steps talking. She saw me, said something to ol' boy, and as she stepped off to come meet me - dude took off for a walk. Denise and I spoke for a minute and then without telling me what was going on, she took me inside to meet my new baby girl. A hand full of joy… Still being half-ass pissed off at me, Denise wouldn't tell me if JaBoria was mine or not. I knew JaBoria was mine. I just wanted Denise to confirm that for me. She eventually told me once I was in jail about to go on trial for my life. But that's to come a little later in this story… I guess now is as good a time as any to get back to the telling of my story. So - where was I? Oh - Dianna and her games… Michelle and I had started spending more time together and talking more seriously about where we was headed. That began one morning when Michelle came looking for me at the dope spot. I usually wouldn't spend whole nights there or even sleep there. But that's where I was - sitting in the sofa in the front room of a dope house, fully dressed with my cap pulled down over my eyes, dope in my pockets and a pistol under my leg asleep… Craig's wife, Denise, woke me so that I could go stop Michelle from waking the whole neighborhood. Michelle never liked the idea of being at the dope spot, she wouldn't even step foot in the yard! So whenever Michelle would come looking for me - if I wasn't to be seen she'd blow her horn until I came out or someone let her know I wasn't around. And that's what she was doing when Denise woke me. Sitting on that damn horn… I stepped out to let Michelle know I had heard her and went back in to wash my face and knock the dragon off my breath. When I stepped back out Michelle asked me to go for a ride with her, saying she wanted to talk. Oh boy…Not knowing how long I'd be gone, I left some dope with Craig for those smokers looking for their early morning hit and got in the car. As we drove off, I noticed Michelle looked as though she had been up for a while, so I asked where she had been. When she told me she had been out looking for a job I must say I was impressed. But Michelle often did small things that impressed me. Like whenever she'd go to the store for something she'd check with me first to see if I wanted her to pick something up for me. Or when she found herself at a store, she'd get different things she knew I needed or would need, be it a pack of cigarettes or a pack of t-shirts or socks. This (her looking for a job) impressed me in a different sort of way. She didn't need to work if she didn't want to, but yet here she was, up early in the morning, trying to get her own and for me that said a whole lot… Michelle drove us to this spot near the port where we could park overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. We were so close to the edge that it seemed if we had gone any further we'd be over the cliff and in the ocean. We sat there watching as the sun rose high into the sky over the Gulf. And it was there that Michelle first asked me about my plans for us. For me that was a question I often found myself thinking about. What did my future hold, where was I headed, what was my place in life…At 18, I felt like she was hopeless. Whatever happened to the dreams I had as a youngsta? They seemed to be lost. I couldn't get a good job because I didn't stay in school and complete my education. Without an education, the best I could hope to get was a minimum wage job, and there was no way I was going back that route. KFC and Mickey D's had shown me that I couldn't make ends come close to meeting on minimum wage. And with my children to think about, I knew I'd have to provide the best way I could, and for me that meant continuing to hustle. How long could it all last though? At 18 I would often question where I'd be in 10 to 20 years down the road. Would I still be selling drugs 20 years later just to survive? What about 30 or 40 years from that point? Would I still be out there hustling on the streets to make a living? That's crazy! And all because I didn't complete school. Now that I think about it, perhaps I could have gotten back in school, you know, sell at night to support my life and family. But back then I didn't feel going back to school was really an option; I had too many responsibilities for that. The thing about life is, when bills are due, there ain't no time for 'hold on' and 'wait.' When your kids are hungry - they are not trying to hear, "I don't have." Where would the cycle break?!? When would the dreams I had as a youngsta come true? I didn't grow up saying I want to be a car thief, a robber, or a drug dealer. I wanted to be a truck driver like my dad, but that seemed so far from reality now. So what to do? Could I sell enough dope to buy my way to my dreams? Yeah - I knew selling drugs was wrong. I knew how crack messed people's lives up. I saw firsthand how it messed families up. I've seen crack babies firsthand, watched them cry and scratch themselves up as they went through withdrawals of a drug because of their moms continuing to do drugs while pregnant. And that was before I got into the trade! I saw women sell their bodies trying to satisfy the demon within. I've seen men take their whole paychecks and blow it through the smoke of a crack pipe. I saw those same men trick their women off just for one more hit as they searched for that high they'd been chasing ever since that first hit. I've seen cats in the hood rob their own family's home just to get some more… Yeah - I knew how the shit I sold fucked up lives. Mentally, I tried to justify myself, telling myself that if I didn't sell it to 'em, somebody else would, but for me, to use that as justification was pure bullshit. I had thought of this all plenty, and I also had a plan too, to continue hustling - but I wanted to take my whole game to a totally different level…To go big time - to become King Pin! ******** Michelle knew about my kids, so I explained that I would always be there for them and would help their mothers out. As long as she was cool with that, then me and her could do whatever. She said she felt where I was coming from and we ended up talking about a few other topics before she took me back to the dope spot. I was on a mission… From that point forward, it was as though I began to meet a whole new side of Michelle. It wasn't like we didn't spend time together, I saw her daily. But we started spending a different type of time together. Michelle made it a point to introduce me to other family members and her co-workers. She had found a good paying job. We even started going to clubs together, which was something being that clubs really weren't my thing. So while what Diana did by telling Yolanda of my relationship with Michelle was messed up on the strength that she was just being spiteful because I had stopped her from leeching off me. What she did not know was that she only helped Yolanda and I down a road we had been on for a while. We had been on the verge of breaking up. To me, Yolanda had changed in many ways; things she once did weren't being done anymore - things she used to take care of now went neglected. Our goals no longer seemed to match. Over all, she wasn't who I wanted anymore. I'm sure Yolanda might say it was I who had changed, and I'm sure I played a part in it, but the bottom line was that things between us had changed. We knew that no matter how long we delayed it, it was only a matter of time before it would be over. I knew through our children we would always have our ties. But for us, I didn't see much of a future. It was one of those nights of clubbing when Yolanda decided to show off. I should have known something was funny. It just seemed like one of those nights to whole night long… I had already talked with Michelle, Dora, and Nay-Nay about meeting them in Victoria to go out on this night. I was running behind a little so it really wasn't a surprise to me when I made it to our place in Victoria and saw everyone in the Astro Van about to leave. With Dora's boyfriend, Randell, and one of his work potna'z, that made six of us in all that night. As we started to step to the first club of the night, I made sure to tell everyone not to go in there starting no shit, saying that if they did I wouldn't be down with them. Of course I was gone be down with them if they started some shit or not. But I'd seen too many times where foolz will go out looking to start some fights just because they knew they had their back-up with them, and I was trying to prevent that from going down. But just as soon as we walked in the club, Shady-O's, I saw this tall ass cowboy-looking dude and knew something was gone happen between us and him that night… As we settled into the club, everyone did their do. Some of us danced and some of us just chilled and enjoyed the scene. I can dance, but I ain't the dancing type. I'm more comfortable holding up the walls or holding the furniture down. After a few drinks, Nay-Nay and Michelle realized they had not eaten anything, and so we left to get something to eat from WaterBurger, and as soon as we stepped back into the club, we saw the fight was about to go down. I don't know what it was about, but I told you as sib as U saw ol' tall Cowboy, I knew my crew was gone bump heads with him… Seeing what the deal was, I turned right around and headed to the van to get my pistol. As I got out the van - some of the young follz from Victoria who had done some work for me screamed at me. Now knowing how deep this shit was gone be, I was about to call them over but then the cops drove up on the scene and about that same time Nay-Nay and Michelle, realizing that I wasn't with them, came back to make sure I left the pistol where it was at… Things calmed down at Shady-O's, but the mood was throwed off, so we left and went to 20 Grand. I got us a table where I could watch everyone coming and going from the club and where I could watch the scene in the club too…Still not wanting to dance, I just chilled at the table, sippin' on my drink: Gin straight - no ice - no nothing. But then some wild youngstaz fell on the scene. I don't know what it is, but it's like you can feel it when somebody is in your 'hood that should not be there…Or that's just not from there. In any case, I knew it wouldn't be long before thses young cats realized I was in their midst - so I watched for their reaction. If they was gone chill I was gone chill. But being that it was only one of me and a couple of them, I knew the chances of them chillin' was slim to none! Once they saw me, they went to doing some silly shit that just gave them all the way up. Shit I had seen plenty growing up in South Park. Huddling and plotting, going in and out of the club, giving themselves up each time one of them looked over my way. I knew what time it was. They was planning to start some shit with me and jump me as soon as we made it out of the club… My dad used to drop a lot of wisdom on me. Street and Life wisdom; I called them pearls. Sometimes he would explain his pearls, sometimes he would just leave them there for me to figure out. When the old man learned that I was packing pistols, he told me that I was looking for trouble. I told him that I wasn't, that it was for protection, which was true and how I felt. Packing a pistol was not something I did in hopes of instilling fear. It was the fashion of the times and place where I grew up in. Packing a pistol gave me an equalizer. And I have seen firsthand would-be jackers back off when they knew their targets had a weapon too… This time my dad took the time to explain that I really was looking for trouble. He said that it isn't that you are walking around looking for something to get into, but you are ready to meet trouble head up if it comes your way. Sometimes you might even find yourself hoping someone might try you so that you could show 'em that you was the wrong one to mess with. I have to admit - Dad was right, but he didn't understand, what if I got caught out on them streets without my gun; I could end up dead all because I wasn't ready…So I continued to pack. I bid my time, figuring that it was about to go down soon. So when the youngsta left out the club again, I decided that as soon as they came back in I would slip out and go to the car and be ready for 'em. And sure enough - they came back in and did their little huddle thing and I slipped out. I pop the trunk and made sure my gage was ready and put my pistol in my waistband under my shirt and leaned on the back of the car to see what would happen… It wasn't long before the youngstaz came back out looking for me - and as luck would have it, their car was parked right across from where I was standing. They went and sat in their car, I can only guess, trying to figure out if they should try me or not. As my dad said, I was hoping they'd come with some shit. Michelle came out to see why I had gone outside; seeing the trunk slightly opened she asked what was up. I told her about the youngstaz, the signs I had read and what they was doing in the car across from where we stood. All that time they didn't go back in the club once…Michelle told me that there wasn't nothing to be concerned about and asked me to go back in the club with her. We talked for a few minutes more and eased back into the club. I didn't see those youngstaz anymore that night and we ended up having a good time at the 20 Grand… Once back at the apartment about to go to sleep, Yolanda called. Just the fact that she had the number - I knew something was up…She let me know on the phone that she knew about everything going on, where I was and all that, saying that she was on her way. For what? I don't know, but she was coming and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I heard a horn blow in the background and she told me that was her taxi and hung up on me…I decided it was best for me to sleep in the living room that night and let Michelle have the bedroom. When I woke up, Yolanda was at the apartment. She had Michelle and Dora both sitting at the table talking. And she had my pistol. I don't know if Michelle or Dora realized it, but she didn't have any bullets - I had the clip in my pocket. I got on up and me and Yolanda went in the bedroom to have our little argument. She was too close to having our baby to be out of Houston and I was sending her right back home. Since I didn't tell her to bring her tail to Victoria I wasn't going to drive her all the way back to Houston. She was going to catch the bus back just like she caught the bus down there. While on the ride to the bus station we was still arguing and I don't recall just what happened, but I ended up hitting her upside her head - immediately! I apologized. When we got to the bus station I paid for her ticket and got whatever else she wanted, which was not much being that she was pissed off at me for hitting her. I asked if she wanted me to wait with her for the bus, but she said no. So I left… As soon as I stepped back in the door Dora got dead on my ass. Yolanda had called and told her about our argument and how I had hit her and then left her at the bus station. I was going back to get her and Dora was coming with me to make sure I didn't trip out again. Dora - if you ever read these pages, I love you, and I respect you for everything you ever did for me and the lessons you gave…You know that which I speak of and that which I leave unwritten… We went and got Yolanda and it wasn't long before we talked and she forgave me for hitting her. Then Denise and Craig showed up in Victoria; Yolanda and Denise was cool from the time they met, and although Denise knew about Michelle and I, Denise had always told me that whenever Yolanda was around I needed to show her due respect as the mother of my children… By the time everything was cool, Michelle had done left, and Yolanda's bus had done came and gone. Yet I was still set on sending her back to Houston. I figured we'd just catch up with the bus in Port Lavaca, which was cool with me because I needed to get back there anyway. We made it to the bus station on time and just as soon as I paid for this second ticket Yolanda started crying. I asked what was wrong, and she said she didn't want to go home by herself. I told the guy behind the counter that we didn't need the ticket after all, and fool looked at me with a look that said I had just wasted too much of his time. I didn't care though, I wasn't gone do Yolanda like that. She was still going home and she was still going home that day, but I was gone take her by myself. Thing was, I still had a lot of dope on the streets in Port Lavaca and I needed to be there to collect my money or else them foolz would assume that I was in jail and would spend my shit. So I needed to drop Yolanda off and return as soon as possible. That meant I was about to do a lot of driving. So I got Dora, Michelle, and Nay-Nay to ride with me so one of them could drive on the way back. As soon as we made it home - Yolanda showed out for real. I kept a gage at the apartment in Houston and as soon as Yolanda made it inside she got it and this time it was loaded. She came back outside and told the women with us that not one of them was coming in her home. I wasn't about to try to argue with her. I went inside, did what I needed to do and came back out. A few of my friends had showed up so they kept Dora, Nay-Nay and Michelle company for a minute. Once I was done we all left headed back to Port Lavaca. Not Everyone Needs To Know Where You Lay Your Head One of the best things I liked about our place in Victoria was that only a select group knew where we stayed. And with the plan I had in the works, I had hoped to keep it that way. Which explains why I was so disappointed when one day Michelle and I walked in and found all sorts of people who weren't supposed to know about this place sitting around in the living room, having a good time like it was all to the good. I was even more disappointed when I went to look for something to eat and there was nothing at all to be found. Pissed off - I told Michelle I was going to the store to get me something to eat and headed out the door with her on my heels. I really didn't want her to come with me, as I knew I'd end up buying way more than I intended. I put up a small protest but really didn't feel like arguing - especially considering she was already in the car with me. Walking down the isle behind a basket filled with groceries gave me time to think about my plans and how I wanted to reach them. For what I had in mind, I wanted a place where no one but Michelle and I knew where we lived. It was during our walk through the grocery store that I let Michelle in on my plan and asked that all she do to help was to make sure she kept her job. I'd take care of everything else…rent, cars, whatever! I'd take care of it all. All she needed to do was make sure she kept her job. I had already set certain parts of my plan into motion, and I was gone continue in that direction. But before I did anything else, I wanted to get us another place to stay. Michelle said she was game… A few days later at Michelle's mom's house about to watch Boyz 'N Tha Hood, a movie which Michelle's mom had told us not to watch in her home. But what mom don't know won't hurt her. I though about Yolanda and decided to call to check in with her. With her so close to giving birth I called more often to see if I was needed back at home. We spoke for a minute and as the conversation was about to come to a close Yolanda asked when I'd be home. I thought she was just trying to keep conversation going and told her in about a week or two, knowing that I was planning to go home in a few days as things was getting low in Port Lavaca. That's when she let me know that I needed to be in Houston the next day to meet with my probation officer! Damn - It seemed like just last week that I reported. "Are you sure?" I don't know why I asked that one. Yolanda had kept up with my probation papers since I got out of jail. So I knew she had it right. I told her I'd be home some time that night and hung up as I needed to find my way to Houston quick-fast-and-in-a-hurry. I made my way over to the dope spot knowing that I could get Craig to let me use his car. It might cost me a little something, but that was okay. And just as I thought - we made a deal for me to use the car, and I took care of the taxi fare that Denise would need the next day to go about her business. But Craig wanted to go take care of something first, saying he'll be right back. It was about three hours later when he returned and Denise was highly pissed. I already knew that she was looking to clown on Craig for being gone so long, and clowning him meant that she was about to clown everyone. So as soon as Craig drove up I tried to get in the car and leave…But she was already on top of that saying that their car wasn't going anywhere. I tried to explain to her that I needed to get to Houston that night. But she wasn't trying to hear it - telling me to catch the grey hound, which there was no way the bus would get me back to Houston on time. Fuck it - I wasn't about to beg her for shit. As long as I could find me a screw driver I still had my old trade. Damnedest thing happened though…It was already late at night and no one had a screw driver handy…That is until two of the other H-Town drug dealers, Killer and G-Money, showed up. I knew the foolz, and had blowed a few joints with them, so I asked if they might have a screw driver in their car. Killer, and I don't know why in the hell he calls himself Killer. A bag of bones nerd type looking cat who I was sure really wasn't from the streets. I guess he was just in the game because he had family in it. But dude was smart about his game - so we often chopped it up. Anyway, Killer had a screw driver in his car and said I could use it. Then fool wanted to know what I needed it for. I told him that I needed it to get to Houston; it took fool a minute to realize what I was about to do…I asked him to take me where I could find a car to steal, and all the while as we rode the fool kept telling me that I didn't have to do this shit - that he would take me himself. But not once did he say, " Come on, I'ma take you on back to Houston," and I wasn't about to ask when he knew what time it was. I figured he was just talking to calm his nerves… I saw a truck that I thought was in good enough shape to get me to Houston and in about a minute I was driving it down the road. I took it back by the dope spot and let the fiends clear whatever they wanted out of it. Once they got what they wanted - I asked G-Money and Killer to follw me until I got to the gas station. I'm not sure why, I just felt like I might have to get out of it real soon and wanted to have a ride back if that was the case… I made it to 172 and Highway 59 and stopped to get something to eat…When I got back on the highway a cop pulled up beside me and rode with me for a bit. I hoped he wouldn't stop me…At the next turn he turned around and went back the other way. GANGSTAZ & GHETTO SUPER STARS I made it to South Park and back home as the city seemed to be changing shifts. The graveyard 3rd shifters and street hustlers of the night were heading in while the workers of the day, be it legal or otherwise, was busy making their way to their daily hustle. And the sun was easing into the sky, giving light and life to a brand new day… Even as I drove through the hood and saw that shit was still the same in South Park, Texas, there is still that 'something' about returning home that always gives me that extra boost of energy. So I was wide awake as I stepped though the door and saw Tikeira was laying down sleeping. Since little more that a year ago when I witnessed her coming into this world - we've had that special bond between us. I swear that little girl could talk to my heart, and I believe she understood my great love of her and the vibes of care and concern which my heart beat for her. Seeing Tikeira as I step through the door really made my day - so I woke her with tickles…It took a minute before she got over being mad at being woken up, but once she realized it was me messing with her - she was up and ready to spend the morning with me…But first she needed a change - YOLANDA! I paged Ken, Q (R.I.P.), and Kilo just to let the guys know I was back in the city and then set about getting myself ready to handle the business of the day - playing with Tikeira along the way… Q (R.I.P.) and Ken was close by when I paged them, so rather than call me back, they fell through to holla at me. Q had this big old 98 that could easily seat ten people comfortably, so we called his ride the Muthaship, and this morning the Muthaship was looking extra clean as it pumped out some tight bass lines while we chopped it up… Just so happens, I had come back home right on time as this was the week of Senior Skip Day - what is today known as Texas Beach Party in Galveston, Texas. Ken and Q had just come from getting the Muthaship detailed and was on their way to pay for the two limos that was supposed to be a part of the crew. The plan was for the whole crew to posse up and fade the beach together in a large caravan. They wanted to know if I planned to hit the beach with 'em, but being that I wasn't sure how things would go with my appointment at the probation office - I just told them to check back with me before they left. We gave each other daps - and they took off on their mission. And Tikeira, Yolanda and myself left on our mission. To see my probation officer… I made my appointment with the probation officer and everything went good. I was a little concerned he might have learned of my arrest in Port Lavaca, but being that it was really nothing and the charges had been dropped, I guess they hadn't relayed that information yet. Either way I was free for at least another month and I planned to hit the beach for the weekend. The rest of the morning was spent ripping and running, shopping and seeing family and friends. And man! It felt good being able to take my family shopping. Not only to get Tikeira and Yolanda what they needed, but what they wanted also. True - me and Yolanda was still on the verge of breaking up. But as I said, I'd always be here for my kids, and if that meant providing for Yolanda too - so be it! When we got back home I paged Q again just to let him know that everything was a go, and again he came by rather than call. This time he was by himself. The game plan was all set - all we had to do now was hook up. In the mean time me and Q jumped in the Muthaship to make a few more runs. Plus Q still needed to get a fresh bald fade before going home to get ready. And so we headed to the barber shop. It was one of those hood spots where one of the homies made his hustle cutting hair for 3 dollars a head at his mother's house. The cat was good at putting the fade down tight so his hustle was good. Thing was - mom didn't allow more than one person in her house at a time so I had to wait in the car. I didn't mind as this gave me time to raid Q's music looking for something new to dub. Being homies from way back in the game, that was something me and Q had been doing since we met. When Q came back out I was still going through his music, but now that it was time to ride we had to find something to bump as we creep down the block. However it was one tape that I had never heard of in with his music so I asked him what was up with it. Q took a look at it, saw that it was Tupac's 2Pacalypse Now and said it was trash but quickly changed his mind saying there was just one song on the whole tape that he liked. Listening to a few cuts while Q searched for the one he liked I agreed that it wasn't all that. But then he found it, and from the very first bass line - Crooked Azz Niggaz had my attention. It was not for the lyrics - it was the beat - the NWA flava in the song that I was feeling. The song was bad! For whatever reason I ended up buying my own copy of 2Pacalypse Now rather than borrowing the one Q had. As we both still needed to get ready - Q dropped me off at home and went home himself to get ready. I had showered and was dressed, waiting for the guys to come through and scoop me. And while I was waiting I figured I might as well work on this mixed tape I had been thinking about putting together. And that's just what I was doing when I heard some sounds overriding my system, and I had my music pumping. So I stepped outside to see what was going on and I swear it was like a concert and car show had pulled up in front of my apartment. Talk about a caravan…Man! First in line was J-Love and his black Jag sitting fat, next was Keith in his dark candy green Baby Benz with flakes sparkling in the sun. Then there was the Ice White Lincoln Stretch Limo, followed by a dark blue Lincoln Stretch Limo. Next in line was Q's Big Cream Colored Muthaship 9-8 sitting on 30's and vogues looking clean! That was followed by just too many clean cars, jeeps, and trucks to name them all…Everybody had their headlights shining to signify that we were together. One thing was for sure - when we fell on the scene - boyz was gone feel us… By the time I stepped out, a few of my potnaz had already got out their rides to holla at me. That boy K-Dogg a.k.a. Kerm-Dogg-Cripto-The-Devils-Son-In-Law was riding in one of the limos and he had brought out his snakes. He had one while another potna had the other and they was wearing them like jewelry. We all chopped it up for a minute, but then it was time to go. And since Q had three girls riding with him - I decided to ride with him to help keep the ladies company. I went back in to get my pistol knowing there was no telling what type of drama we might run into and rolling like we was, we was sure to draw some haters…I jumped in the car with Q and put my ninna right where Q's was, in the front seat - easy to reach as we took off… Before hitting the highway we made the rounds of the high schools on the South Side of Houston, Worthan, Sterling, Jones, Yates, and CLC (Criminals Last Chance)…To pick up a few friends, but more so - to see and make sure we was seen! Once that was done - we hit 45 South headed to Galveston to party… We hit the beach and of course we had a good time as planned. But some time during the night we decided to go back to Houston and hit the clubs there. On the way back - Q wanted me to drive as he was tired, and for some reason the fool felt like talking… He asked me what was up with me and Yolanda, and I let the fool know that it wasn't going anywhere. He then wanted to know what was up with me spending so much time in Port Lavaca. Of course being that he was my boy I had done already told him there was money to be made down that way - yet he knew there was money to be made in Houston and told me that I needed to stop hitting that highway because I was gone get caught on one of those trips. I really wasn't concerned about that being that I had a lawyer on retainer for just that and had told him so. Still he thought I needed to stop hitting the highway but I wasn't trying to hear it as I figured I had my bases covered… When we made it back to Houston we stopped by my house to get some different music before we hit South Main. By this time the caravan had broken up, but we all knew to meet up on South Main and that's just what we did…It has to be 1 or 2 in the morning when Kilo came by and let us know that the plan was to hit the suite that had been rented for an all-night party. Q had his girl with him and wasn't trying to fade no parties, and I was tired, so we told the other girls in the car with us if they wanted to hit the party to get in one of the limos. The girls bailed, and Q dropped me off at home. And when I walked through the door, Yolanda threw a fit! She accused me of being out all night messing with those girls in the car with Q. That's part of why I started stepping out in the first place. She always was accusing me of shit I wasn't doing. I was tired and really wasn't trying to hear it so I went and laid it down… The next morning she had a little better attitude. But I was already thinking about going back to Port Lavaca so I called Michelle to see how things were doing there. She told me that everything was everything and there hadn't been no trouble as far as the laws were concerned. I let her know that I might be back down there either that night or the next day. I wasn't for sure yet. However Chris called me shortly after I hung up with Michelle wanting to know what was going on. Curious as to what he was talking about, I told him nothing and asked what was on his mind…That's when he told me that he did not know just what was up, but that someone had made some type of threat against me. Me!?! For what? Chris told me that Dora knew a little more about it, but when we called her on three way she said that Michelle knew what as going on. I found that a bit strange being that I had just called her to see how things were. So we called Michelle… Come to find out - two of the young cats I had gotten arrested with got into a confrontation with someone while playing basketball. Dude pulled a pistol on them, and somehow my name was introduced in the mix, and Dude was supposed to have made a statement that he had something for me too…Michelle said something about the young cats telling her to call me and make sure I brought my guns down. These young cats just didn't get it. I wasn't trying to go down there bringing heat where I was trying to make money. I asked Michelle if she knew the dude they was into it with and where he lived. She told me that she did and so I let her know that I intended to go to Port Lavaca that night and wanted her to take me to the dude's house to talk face to face. My intention wasn't to go down there with no drama but to squash unnecessary bullshit. I made plans to catch the bus that evening and being that I still had that hot ass truck at the house I planned to drive it to the bus station and leave it in McDonald's parking lot. However I really didn't want to do that as I knew driving anywhere in 3rd Ward I stood a strong chance of being pulled over. Then Kilo, K-Dogg, Ed Lover, and Ken came by… Kilo noticed the truck and asked what I had planned to do with it…I let him know that I was just going to drop it off, but then asked if he'd give me that ride to the bus station. But they was already riding 4-deep in a rental car - making it five deep was just begging the laws to pull them over. I felt where he was coming from and stuck with my other game plan. Kilo - before leaving advised me to get out of that truck as soon as possible. I let him know that I planned to… I was getting ready to leave, loading my overnight bag and radio in the truck, when out of nowhere Yolanda asked me to stay home with her. That's one thing I've noticed over the years. Just about everyone in prison says that just before they left home - somebody - mostly their girlfriends had asked them to stay home that night…Warning signs… I told her that I couldn't, knowing that I had to get back on my grind. She then asked me for a kiss before I left, and when I turned around to give it to her she was doing this thing with her lips that she knew I didn't like. So I told her not to play with me and turned around and left her and Tikeira standing in the doorway… I made it through 3rd Ward and to the bus station alright, but not in time to catch my bus. As I was driving up I saw it leaving. I should have gone back home. I should have went inside to see when the next bus left. But I figured what the hell, I'll drive down there myself. Right before I was leaving the city I stopped to call Michelle and let her know that I would be driving down but that I wouldn't come all the way. I let her know that I'd need her to come pick me up once I got to 59 and Highway 172. She said cool, and I left. But once I made it to our meeting point and called there was no answer. I stood there in the dark in front of this hot ass truck hoping Michelle would answer the phone. I stood there in front of that truck wondering what in the world was going on. I knew I couldn't stay at the phone booth the whole night, nor was I about to drive that truck to Port Lavaca knowing that's where I had got it from. So I contemplated my next move… I remembered there was supposed to be a party that night at Dora's sister's house. I decided to go there and just have Michelle pick me up in the morning. So I jumped back on Highway 59 headed to Victoria in the fast lane with the cruise control set at 55. I looked in the rearview mirror and noticed the bubble gum machine back there, which let me know there was a police car a few cars behind me. I slid over to the slow lane still pushing 55… Excerpts of Tupac's Souljah's Story** IT IS MY FAULT JUST CAUSE I'M A YOUNG BLACK MALE COPS SWEATIN' ME AS IF MY DESTINY IS MAKIN' CRACK SALES ONLY 15 AND GOT PROBLEMS COPS ON MY TAIL SO I BAIL 'TIL I DODGE 'EM THEY FINALLY PULL ME OVER AND I LAUGH REMEMBER RODNEY KING AND I BLAST ON HIS PUNK ASS NOW I GOT A MURDER CASE Now I got a Capital Murder case, and there ain't shit to laugh about! They put me in a small single man cage where I'd spend the next few months as I waited to go to trial for my life… < Back